Still Waiting!!

I think it's a mixture of both. lol

So here we are 10 weeks and 1 day since my last shot of Depot Lupron and still no new cycle.  My OB/GYN told me that if I didn't start by now, mid May, to take a HPT test and if it's negative to make an appointment and we'll talk about taking clomid and other fertility treatments.  Well, I HIGHLY doubt I'm pregnant, I mean I have NO symptoms, so I went ahead an made an appointment. They can't see me till June 13th.  I'm an extremely patient person, but I've found myself quite the opposite when it comes to these appointments.  I'm tired of waiting. I wasted all my "wait" on my husband's last deployment. lol.  I have an appointment today with my PCM for a follow up after wearing a holter monitor because my "blackouts" have gotten bad when working out since we moved here to CO.  I mean, I know it takes a while to get use to the high altitude, but I should have been acclimated by now.  I'm going to ask her for a pregnancy test just in case anyways. I mean what's the worst she can tell me, it's negative? Though it would be a wonderful blessing and surprise.  


I have had a few symptoms though that worry me.  I've been having cramping lately, some that were pretty sharp, but not as intense as they use to be.  Part of me is worried that it's the endo coming back, but the surgery and treatment, even though it was only 3 months, should have made the majority of it go away.  I've been real tired, but I contribute that to my sleeping patterns, or lack there of.  Also, since I haven't had a job I've been home studying a LOT for my up coming exam, so lack of activity can make anyone feel more fatigued.  I haven't felt sick at all, maybe once or twice, but I have a sensitive stomach and I have always had heartburn.  


I know it sounds like I'm naming out reasons I'm NOT pregnant because, well, I have to.  We've been trying for a while now and I don't want to get excited and worked up over nothing, again.  The disappointment over a negative pregnancy test is hard to handle, even more so if I work myself up to thinking that it just might be positive.  I can't put myself in that position again.  I KNOW I'm not.  I don't know how, I just know.  My boobs don't even hurt. Yes, I said boobs, elementary, I know, but I prefer saying boobs than breasts.  It's less formal, which is what I want for my blogs.


Anyways, I just hope I hurry up and start already so I can use my Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor. lol. I mean, if I'm pregnant, then we've met our goal and I'll be the most excited woman y'all will ever see, but if not, then COME ON ALREADY!! Let's get this party started! Never in my life did I ever think I'd pray to start and be excited if I did because that means that I'm NOT broken. It means I'm working and I can hopefully make our dreams come true.  Wish me luck ladies. I'll see if I can get a test today, and also see if there's anything that can help me jump start this cycle like a good set of jumper cables on an old jeep!